Hysteria
by DistantCompany
Summary: HIEIxBOTAN Sequel to Time Is Running Out. [Songfic] After Hiei takes Botan from the wedding, Koenma finds himself wanting revenge. Badly. But the controversial question comes up: At what price?


**!IMPORTANT!** Eh, heh, heh, heh... Hey everybody. Look! Despite popular belief, I'm not dea! ... Yeah. Anway, listen, I know I'm literally well past my due date for an update on Best Years Of Our Lives, and thanks to a rather _helpful_ kick up the ass - glares at Saeka - I was determined to finish up that third chapter of the story and start updating more frequently. I hjave a good portion of that third chapter done, and I'm honestly doing everything I can to get it done. I swear! I've just been _really_ busy. Life's a bitch...

Meanwhile, I discovered that, meanwhile, back in August, I was... er, _persuaded_ to write a sequel to Time Is Running Out. Well, I finally got the inspiration to finish it. (Ever get those long periods of time when nothing for your half written or prewritten stories comes to you? Oh, that's right. _Writer's block_.) So, before you all feel the need to kill the author for her sucky updates (because I know you do...), here is that sequel. I'm working onthe other stuff now, so give me a LITTLE time.

I figured I stick with an obnoxious theme here and write the sequel as another songfic... With a different song from Muse! Now, I had picked the song Hysteria back in August, before I had any idea it was going to be their second hit song on the radio stations... Do I have skills or what? And for all of you who haven't heard their album... BUY IT!

This one's to you, Botan-Hiei-Daughter... (God, wouldn't it be awful if I mis spelled your name _here_...)

* * *

A brisk breeze blew across the earth on the dark October night. It was cold out, much colder then it should have been on a night like this one. The sky was cloudless, giving anyone who wished to look a crystal clear view of the heavens. The full moon hung high in the sky, illuminating the ground below in a hypnotic, eerie light.

The air was thick with emotions this night. Hate and scorn floated around like a thick blanket. An anxious draft twisted around with it, causing the night to become increasingly tenser. Darkness and despair smothered over everything, though. As if to alert what was to come in the very near future. It was almost impossible for anyone to pick up on the anxiety swirling around in the night, but for someone who was at their wits end, on the brink of broken insanity, it was easy to pick up.

The night was serene and peaceful and the quiet calm was enough for two lovers to share under moonlight in perfect bliss. But there's a dark side to the quiet. Quiet so stifling that somebody can slowly go insane, stewing in their own thoughts. Quiet is calming. Quiet is peaceful… But quiet can kill. Then again, so can other things…

The silence shattered as a single gunshot echoed across the land, and then the quiet returned again, in a different light.

Overhead, the moon continued to cast down beams of pale light on a nearby, occupied beach. Three figures were out on the sand, keeping the dark and the cold company. The first figure was kneeling down in the sand, their deposition looking rather distraught. In their arms they held a second figure, which was slumped over in a gruesome display. A dozen yards away from them, a third figure sat on the ground. No sound came from any of them.

_What went wrong?_ Koenma thought to himself, his hands shaking furiously, his head hung bowed as he stared at the ground. He grabbed a handful of the sand around him to keep his trembling hands still. A light breeze blew by, causing his brown hair to flip around wildly in the wind. His eyes flew around frantically as his mind tried to put the pieces of what had happened together.

Lifting his head no more then an inch, he looked a few feet ahead of him and spotted the gun he had dropped. It lay their now, dark and silhouetted in the moonlight, the weight of it pressing into the wet sand. Inadequately, he raised his head, which felt like a ton of bricks by now, and looked straight ahead of him. His eyes fell upon the other two figures on the beach with him, who were Botan and Hiei. He couldn't bring himself to look at them a moment longer and jerked his head away as he tried to shake the scene from his mind, but he couldn't.

He had wanted revenge. Wanted revenge so badly it hurt, but now, he only felt guilt. _What have I done?_

**_It's bugging me, grating me  
_****_And twisting me around  
_****_Yeah I'm endlessly caving in  
_****_And turning inside out_**

It had been nearly a week after the canceled wedding when it started. Koenma had tried to block it out, but he just couldn't. He had been furious at the initial time of the wedding, right after Hiei and Botan had left. He had been humiliated in front of countless people. It was enough to drive anyone into pure ignited rage. He had exploded.

He had spent the next week working with that rage, taking it all out on paper work. He had gotten more done in a week with that rigor, more then he had in the previous months. That anger had eventually burnt out and disappeared along with all his now completed papers, though. That was when it finally set in.

It had ebbed near the back of his mind slowly at first, and then reality set in full force. She had left him. She didn't love him. She wasn't coming back. The realization was too much. His heart was torn in half when he discovered she had never really loved him from the start.

Over the next few weeks following that, he had slowly sank into depression, too grieve stricken to care much about anything. He was full of self-pity and as he moped around crestfallen, he began thinking hard about what had happened. What had caused this to begin?

The constant thoughts had begun to drive him insane. Wild ideas flew through his head at the latest hours of night. And as the days progressed, these ideas began to become more appealing. He had locked himself in his room, much to the worrying of everyone in Spirit World. He spent hours upon hours thinking things up, things that he would never had dreamed of months ago. He was going to get what he wanted.

**_Cause I want it now  
_****_I want it now  
_****_Give me your heart and your soul  
_****_And I'm breaking out  
_****_I'm breaking out  
_****_Last chance to lose control_**

And he knew exactly what he wanted. He yearned for two things with every fiber of his being. First, he wanted Botan back more then anything, but to do that, he needed one other thing. He needed Hiei out of the way. He needed, no, _wanted_ him dead. What he wanted was Botan…and revenge.

Any stray thoughts he ever had were of her. He wanted to be with her physically, mentally, and spiritually. He longed for her to come back to him. To beg for forgiveness that she had put him through such anguish. But that was never going to happen. And that little fact was breaking him. He was losing it. He'd have to put his plan into action soon.

The idea of revenge was a wonderful thing on the mind, but trying to plan it was another thing entirely. His imagination came up with the most horrendous things to do to Hiei, but he decided against them. He didn't just want his revenge to be met a certain way. No, he wanted his attitude to match the moment of vengeance. He just didn't know what that attitude was yet.

**_It's holding me, morphing me  
_****_And forcing me to strive  
_****_To be endlessly cold within  
_****_And dreaming I'm alive_**

As the weeks dragged on, his plotting became more and more detailed. More and more specific. His temporary insanity was replaced by sheer determination. His plan for revenge was finished, every detail in place. It wasn't anything terribly complicated, a simple seek and kill job. That was done and out of the way, but he still had a problem. He hadn't yet discovered the attitude to match his goal after all this time.

Every piece of the puzzle was put into place except for that one, and without it, the plan could never be put into action. It was as if all those months of planning had been wasted on nothing. What attitude could possibly carry out the amount of hate and pain his revenge was being fueled by?

His answer came to him unexpectedly one day when he was looking through an old scrapbook Botan had given to him over a year ago. He had been going over the good old times when he had come across a photograph that had been taken shortly after the Dark Tournament. Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara were all grinning warmly, Keiko joining them next to Yusuke's side. In the right corner was Botan, smiling like the happy, warm-hearted person she was, just as brilliant as ever... And then he spotted _him_.

In the right corner of the picture was Hiei, arms crossed over his chest. His face was impossible to read, but his eyes….His eyes were glaring straight at the camera, more like his gaze was piercing right through it. The crimson red irises were cold and dark, void of any emotion whatsoever. And then it hit Koenma. The attitude to carry out his plan had been right in front of him the whole time. How had he been so blind for so long?

The rage, the scorn, the cold hurt that had produced his reprisal, needed to be carried out in that exact way. Cold and heartless. Calm and uncaring. Just like Hiei… Koenma smirked to himself bitterly. How ironic, to get his revenge and kill Hiei, he was going to have to act like him.

It wouldn't be that hard. Koenma had isolated himself from everyone for the past few months, closing himself off from anything remotely caring. He had grown cold and impassive on the inside out to the point that he reminded others of how Hiei had been years ago. And when, Koenma decided, he killed Hiei, it would be like adding insult to injury for the demon. Not only would he be killed, but it would be like he was killed….By himself.

With that decided, he would put his plan into action. Everything was set; it was only a matter of time now.

**_Cause I want it now  
_****_I want it now  
_****_Give me your heart and your soul  
_****_I'm not breaking down  
_****_I'm breaking out  
_****_Last chance to lose control_**

With payback planned and ready to go, Koenma practically became his old self again. He had unlocked his door and ventured out of his room a few times, much to the relief of the ogres and ferry girls. He became so peaceful at times that he found himself, if rarely, thinking about forgetting the whole revenge ideal in the first place. Until, of course, that fateful day…

He had been swamped with paper work on that particular afternoon and was determined to get it done. So determined, in fact, that when he heard a soft knock on his door, he thought nothing of it and granted entry.

Continuing to approve and decline paperwork, he didn't look up as he heard someone step into the room and close the door carefully behind them. A long few moments of silence followed, and as Koenma rushed though documents, he began to wonder what his unknown guest wanted.

"K-Koenma… sir?" the timid voice ultimately spoke.

The young god froze in mid stamp and looked up. Before him was none other then the elusive and quite sheepish looking Botan. Her head was bowed and she wasn't looking at him. Koenma stared at her, unsure whether he was seeing things or not.

Sensing that she wasn't going to get a response, she picked her head up slightly to look at him and willed herself to continue. "I… was wondering if I could have the rest of the day off. I'm going somewhere tonight."

Unable to comprehend, Koenma just stared. The rest of the day off…? Why was she asking him? He contemplated for a moment, then mentally slapped himself in the face. He was her _boss_. Of course she would ask _him_ for time off.

Clearing his throat, he looked down at his desk and straightened out a stack of already neatly piled papers. Putting up his superior front he normally wore, he looked back up at her. "And may I inquire the reason you want the rest of the day off?"

Botan appeared startled by this sudden question, and Koenma could've sworn that he had briefly seen a look of unease flash across her eyes. She composed herself quickly enough to answer, though, so he couldn't be sure. "I'm meeting with a personal friend…" She confessed.

Accepting this, Koenma nodded. "Fine then." He sanctioned, waving a hand dismissively as he went back to his work. He wasn't going to prohibit her. He didn't need an argument. The sooner she got out of his office, the better.

Nodding back, the ferry girl bowed slightly and started towards the door. Koenma, busy with his work again, began flipping through endless papers when he paused. _I'm meeting with a personal friend._ "You're going to meet with Hiei, aren't you?" He stated suddenly.

Botan, whose hand was on the door, didn't move. Lavender eyes moved to the floor in embarrassment. "Yes…"

Koenma made a disgusted noise, clearly disapproving this new piece of information with resentment. He glared at the stretch of room ahead of him as he clenched his fist tightly.

"Koenma, I'm sor-"

"Get out." He ordered sharply, interrupting her as he turned away in his chair. Glimpsing over her shoulder, she peered at Koenma as tears of pity began to well up in her eyes. With one last lingering glance, she left the room without a sound, shutting the door behind her.

Left to his own contemptuous thoughts, Koenma sat in his office for hours, doing nothing but musing. As if loosing every last once of rationality he possessed, he rose from his chair, his mind made up. Reaching down, he yanked open one of his desk drawers and pulled out a fully loaded hand gun. He only stared at it impassively for a moment before closing his eyes and nodding as he tucked it away in the confines of the folds of his clothes.

He stalked out of his office, making his way towards the exit, only to be stopped almost instantly by a rather ruffled looking George. He was sweating slightly, and from what Koenma could tell, it seemed he had been running around. "Koenma sir, it's awful! We keep getting reports of more and more deaths, but there aren't enough ferriers to guide the awaiting spirits! Not only that, but it appears that Botan went missing a few hours ago! Oh sir, what are we going to-"

"I'll take care of it when I return." Koenma interrupted, briskly cutting off the sputtering ogre.

"When you return? Koenma sir, you can't possibly be leaving at a time of mayhem like this!" George panicked.

Gazing crossly at him from the corner of his eye, Koenma turned on his heel and took off towards the exit once more. "I said I'd take care of it when I get back. Do _not_ argue with me on this matter," He warned austerely over his shoulder. With a shadowed scowl, he exited the hectic Spirit World castle, leaving a flustered George to only stare in astonishment.

With a frighteningly detached look on his face, Koenma made his way to the human world. He may not have had abnormal spirit energy or powers, but he _was_ the prince of Spirit World, and that did give him some liability to powers. And because of that aptitude, he was able to sense Botan, and with her, the unmistakable flare that was Hiei.

It was significantly late out, and Koenma hadn't seized this thought until he had stepped into the Human World. Darkness was setting in, and the only light came from the nearly set sun. Not only that, but a damp chill decided to accompany the night. None of this affected him, though. Nothing was going to affect him tonight…

_I love you._

A sincere smile.

_I'm meeting a personal friend._

An abashed blush.

_Koenma, I'm sorry…_

A flash of sympathetic purple eyes.

Bits and pieces of painful memories and blunt truths began flirting with his mind, spitefully torturing him. Excelled beyond the point of logical anger, Koenma was barely aware of what he was doing as he pursued Botan and Hiei's energy signals. By the time it was fully dark outside; his search had led him to a quaint, snug little beach. Out near the shoreline, jutting out of the edge of the water was a large cluster of rocks. Squinting to get a better look, Koenma's eyes narrowed further as he spotted _them_.

They were sitting on top of one of the highest protruding rocks together. Botan's head rested delicately on Hiei's shoulder, and the latter had a protective arm looped around her waist. Both their bodies shook slightly, and it appeared they were laughing quietly about something.

Koenma's body shook as well, but with seething anger. He hadn't wanted to believe it, but here it was, right in front of his awaiting gaze. Solid proof…

Hazel eyes dropped to the ground as the young prince fingered the handle of the gun. His index finger was precautious as it brushed against the cold steel of the trigger.

_Shoot the bastard!_

Why? Did Hiei really deserve to die?

_Kill him!_

Could he really do it?

_Revenge!_

Yes… Yes, he could.

Whipping out the gun, he cocked it and took perfect aim at the small demon who had single-handedly demolished his life. Letting out a frustrated cry, he pulled the trigger and a loud crack of gunfire shattered the crisp night stillness.

**_And I want you now  
_****_I want you now  
_****_I'll feel my heart implode  
_****_I'm breaking out  
_****_Escaping now  
_****_Feeling my faith erode_**

_It was an accident._ Koenma swallowed hard, his mouth as dry as cotton. _It wasn't supposed to happen like this._ He reached a distressed hand up and grabbed a fistful of his own rich, brown hair. _What have I done?_

"B-Botan…?"

Filled with renewed hope, Koenma's head jerked up quickly, only to find that his dreams had been crushed once again.

"Botan?" Koenma felt himself go weak with nausea as he heard the meek call again. He watched faintly as Hiei kneeled forward, holding a limp body in his arms. Thanks to the moonlight overhead, he could see the demon's features clearly, and for the first time in his life, Koenma witnessed a truly pained look on Hiei's face.

"Botan." The Koorime called again, more firmly this time. He wiped some dark residue off of her pale face with a quivering hand, then stared at it in utter disbelief. "Come on… Don't do this…"

No reply came from the unresponsive ferry girl, and Hiei let out a shuddering breathe. "No… Please no…" He whispered, looking desperately up at the starlit sky. Reaching down, he held her wrist to locate a pulse, and when finding none, he nearly dropped her arm.

The normally impassive demon took another hesitant look at Botan's face before his eyes snapped shut forcefully. Collapsing onto the deity, he grasped her clothes tightly as he let out a wanton wail. Koenma winced at the sound. He had done something truly reprehensible to get a cry out of Hiei like that.

Eventually accepting what was inevitable to prevent, Hiei scooped up Botan's lifeless body and morosely rose to his feet. Koenma stared at the wet sand as he heard the demon's footfalls approach him, and as a pair of black boots appeared in his vision, he braced himself for the blow that was sure to come. He'd gladly take it…

But no hit came. Instead, it was quiet, and Koenma found that Hiei still stood in front of him, as if just daring him to try and get away. He was going to wait there until Koenma faced him, even if Botan's frail frame rotted away in the process. Tentatively, he looked up, only to find himself staring into a pair of empty crimson eyes. Koenma was taken aback at how forlorn Hiei looked.

"… I should kill you…" The demon barely whispered, his voice hoarse. His eyes flicked out to the ocean momentarily, then back to Koenma. "End your miserable life right now… But I won't. You don't deserve that…"

Koenma said nothing. The apparition's words sank in and he new they were the truth. He glanced down for a moment, and when he looked back up, he let out a strangled gasp. Hiei's eyes had taken on a hauntingly glassy look.

"Are you happy with what you've done? You've killed her." He turned around and started walking away, his cloak billowing around behind him in the sudden wind that had picked up. "Spend the rest of your life with that thought eating at your conscience…"

Koenma watched as Hiei's form retreated and disappeared into the night. He noticed dark stains splattered across the white sand, but he didn't register what it was.

He had wanted revenge on Hiei. He had wanted to kill him. He had killed Botan in the process, though. But he didn't have a choice. He was torn with them around, and torn without them. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't.

_Hiei was supposed to die. Not Botan. Never Botan… Hiei was supposed to be deprived of happiness…_

So in a way, Koenma had gotten revenge…But at what price?

* * *

Could anyone tell I was feeling extremly moody when I wrote this?

No, this was how I planned this fic from the start. I liked the idea. Tell me what you think, won't you?

And if anyone wants to keep an eye on what I'm up to most of the time and how I'm coming along with my updates and story ideas, there's a link to my Xanga in my bio. I basically do day to day updates there, and you can even yell at me personally when i take too long! Yeah... Cause god knows I could use those kicks up the ass every now and then. - glares at Saeka _again_ - Heh, I'm well aware how to upload things, but thank you, Saeka-cahn, I needed that... Enlightment.


End file.
